tell ils to like buy her flowers and like a balloon that says, sorry I tried to fuck your sister. I think hallmark makes some of those cards too.
Burger king has cupcake flavored milkshakes. God dammit America.
i said she could sleep in my bed and she goes "iiiiiiii warned you. iiiiim a cuddlerrrrrr!" slightly regretting this..
I searched the house and found a small bottle of sherry which is probably as old as I am, has prob gone off and tastes like shit. I don't care any more. It has come to this.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I may only be a second year med student but I feel very confident in calling that a micropenis.
Question: would asking the hot guy from the grocery store to "beer me" his number be a poor decision?
happy find a boyfriend by next Valentines Day. Its like a new years resolution but depressing
His dick is so big it could be an arm rest.
My day in three words: secret purse cake
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just caught myself checking an online porn site while in a strip club. Might have a problem.
On her way to bed she said, "If you have sex on the couch, just move my blanket" Needles to say, we moved the blanket
Woke up in a fanny pack with a bag of cocaine on my cheek
Yeah. We're taking this fuck buddy relationship to the next level. Sober weekday sex.
Don't get mad at me now, you have my car and all the doughnuts
man do I wish I knew who this naked guy in my room was...
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