Note to Self: No matter how horny, turned on or in the moment you are, never go down on your gf after she had soccer practice.
Ohh the wonderful, yet disgusting things she can do with her hair
i wanna make it FB official so he cant fuck anyone else. but that means i can't fuck anyone else either. CONUNDRUM
I think it's time we have the "weird fetish" talk.
At the time, making out with dudes for keg money seemed like a genius idea. Now I realize it was borderline prostitution.
you're my knight in shining pee-resistant armor
We found him wrapped up in a giant table umbrella in the bathroom.
just got home to find my brothers naked on the floor covered in chocolate. i am now nervous about sleeping in the same room as them
Theres a point where you stop and say hey....as high as I am on LSD right now ...I`m just a man covered in paint
I felt guilty, it was so good!
Guilty? Oh great, I give the Jewish mother-in-law of blowjobs.
My mom just found my nipple clamps...... oh God why....
My brother and I have had one conversation in the past like 3 weeks and it was about what it would be like as a sentient butt plug
She used to be cute, back when we were young.
Oh well, so were platform jellies. Shit changes.
I wish I could be the kind of drunk Bobbi is... She stumbles around outside at 4am with a broken high heel and babbling about rainbows and getting dick...
Are these your boobs on my camera?
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