Going back to my hometown to drink absinthe with highschool boys. Remind me to evaluate this decision tomorrow.
he just put it in my mouth and said "go"
Walked home this morning with my contacts in a shot glass.
I just realized that if I marry him I will have the same last name as spiderman. this makes my decision so much harder.
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Is it sad that I woke up to more "Happy Holidays" texts on 4/20 than I did on Christmas?
drunk...on the white house tour...security is staring. this will not end well.
She just sent me videos of her blowing my little bro and my best friend... worst. ex. ever.
I feel like that needs to be the last time i end a text with "fuck them i love tequila".
we should probably just go check in at the police station right now
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How can someone be so bad at fingering? It's such a simple concept
Guess who just sucked off 1/5 of one direction?
Watched twin sisters make out thought it was amazing sick on their part but legit to watch
I smell like a skunk, but I'm okay with that.
I know. His dick was small at the top and got bigger at the bottom, like a fucking curling wand.
You got your ass kicked outside KFC on Tuesday