Texts From Last Night

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  (630): View more from Illinois

  Every time we have sex I can't stop thinking about Jesus

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  (630): Every time we have sex I can't stop thinking about Jesus http://tfl.nu/u8l4
  Replies (19) Good night (648) Bad night (1820)
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  (303): View more from Colorado

  I reminded them that I didn't puke and I cleaned yours up! So huh!

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  (303): I reminded them that I didn't puke and I cleaned yours up! So huh! http://tfl.nu/2rr5
  Replies (1) Good night (707) Bad night (1339)
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  (908): View more from New Jersey

  do u think i could put an abortion on my debit card?

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  (908): do u think i could put an abortion on my debit card? http://tfl.nu/jvvm
  Replies (219) Good night (948) Bad night (7031)
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  (801): View more from Utah

  She wouldn't stop telling me the story of the penis and how she got laid.

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  (801): She wouldn't stop telling me the story of the penis and how she got laid. http://tfl.nu/lqbk
  Replies (11) Good night (738) Bad night (2504)
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  (513): View more from Ohio

  Do you ever think that bumblebee is the gay transformer?

  (1-513): View more from Ohio

  Every day of my life.

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  (513): Do you ever think that bumblebee is the gay transformer? (1-513): Every day of my life. http://tfl.nu/2brt
  Replies (12) Good night (4762) Bad night (950)
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  (559): View more from California

  With sake I got over my irrational fear of seafood. Now I just fear sake.

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  (559): With sake I got over my irrational fear of seafood. Now I just fear sake. http://tfl.nu/no1z
  Replies (6) Good night (3408) Bad night (734)
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  (614): View more from Ohio

  you went up to their shower, tripped in it, accidentally turned it on and then claimed that you like to "test everyone's showers"

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  (614): you went up to their shower, tripped in it, accidentally turned it on and then claimed that you like to "test everyone's showers" http://tfl.nu/unf8
  Replies (13) Good night (4665) Bad night (773)
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  (607): View more from New York

  The hookah bar is playing i'm on a boat. I believe in god again.

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  (607): The hookah bar is playing i'm on a boat. I believe in god again. http://tfl.nu/rkzi
  Replies (27) Good night (6286) Bad night (867)
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  (614): View more from Ohio

  I would have rather watched a full length video of myself masturbating than heard that.

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  (614): I would have rather watched a full length video of myself masturbating than heard that. http://tfl.nu/pxw6
  Replies (7) Good night (989) Bad night (3846)
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  (404): View more from Georgia

  I vaguely remember telling a bum she was worth more than this

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  (404): I vaguely remember telling a bum she was worth more than this http://tfl.nu/fjnr
  Replies (6) Good night (1615) Bad night (588)
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  (856): View more from New Jersey

  i stole nothing, broke nothing, and stabbed nothing. aren't you proud of me?

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  (856): i stole nothing, broke nothing, and stabbed nothing. aren't you proud of me? http://tfl.nu/5yrh
  Replies (5) Good night (1353) Bad night (386)
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  (315): View more from New York

  Oh, also as a concerning side note, my bra had drops of blood on it. So I don't know what the deal was, but someone I was around was definitely bleeding a decent amount.

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  (315): Oh, also as a concerning side note, my bra had drops of blood on it. So I don't know what the deal was, but someone I was around was definitely bleeding a decent amount. http://tfl.nu/8uiz
  Replies (1) Good night (296) Bad night (561)
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  (518): View more from New York

  So my parents just watched me pour their rum into a bottle and only add crystal light powder, no water... Talk about being judged. All I could say was "Cortland tricks?"

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  (518): So my parents just watched me pour their rum into a bottle and only add crystal light powder, no water... Talk about being judged. All I could say was "Cortland tricks?" http://tfl.nu/8ua3
  Replies (2) Good night (342) Bad night (549)
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  (919): View more from North Carolina

  The guy I blew last night was pierced in multiple places. I had to use extra caution to avoid my temporary filling.

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  (919): The guy I blew last night was pierced in multiple places. I had to use extra caution to avoid my temporary filling. http://tfl.nu/ws33
  Replies (1) Good night (350) Bad night (543)
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  (361): View more from Texas

  I'm usually good at keeping a straight face, but not while singing a ballad to a stranger in a bathroom.

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  (361): I'm usually good at keeping a straight face, but not while singing a ballad to a stranger in a bathroom. http://tfl.nu/yz2v
  Replies (1) Good night (389) Bad night (207)

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