Texts From Last Night

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  (205): View more from Alabama

  Don't make out with my wife yet

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  (205): Don't make out with my wife yet http://tfl.nu/oypy
  Replies (3) Good night (1001) Bad night (1028)
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  (646): View more from New York

  Give me a heads up the next time you BBM me a voicenote of you cumming so I'll make sure not to play it while in the car with my parents. Miss you too.

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  (646): Give me a heads up the next time you BBM me a voicenote of you cumming so I'll make sure not to play it while in the car with my parents. Miss you too. http://tfl.nu/dkri
  Replies (19) Good night (7016) Bad night (1709)
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  (845): View more from New York

  I just noticed that when I sneeze...my nipples get hard.

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  (845): I just noticed that when I sneeze...my nipples get hard. http://tfl.nu/kj6h
  Replies (31) Good night (6819) Bad night (1270)
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  (757): View more from Virginia

  I looked at the bar tab this morning. The bartender added a $25 'customer asshole fee'. I have no grounds to dispute it.

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  (757): I looked at the bar tab this morning. The bartender added a $25 'customer asshole fee'. I have no grounds to dispute it. http://tfl.nu/uqxt
  Replies (13) Good night (9740) Bad night (1863)
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  (202): View more from Washington, DC

  Just woke up. Need to shower and fuck. Be there when I'm done disappointing. Should be 30.

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  (202): Just woke up. Need to shower and fuck. Be there when I'm done disappointing. Should be 30. http://tfl.nu/8g1h
  Replies (6) Good night (1145) Bad night (2825)
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  (575): View more from New Mexico

  So where are we on this whole, you write my paper...i do sexual favors situation?

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  (575): So where are we on this whole, you write my paper...i do sexual favors situation? http://tfl.nu/oofw
  Replies (17) Good night (5817) Bad night (995)
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  (567): View more from Ohio

  Repeat. Dildo on the ceiling, confiscated potato shooter, and bottle of yegger. Repeat. Ceiling dildo and yegger.

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  (567): Repeat. Dildo on the ceiling, confiscated potato shooter, and bottle of yegger. Repeat. Ceiling dildo and yegger. http://tfl.nu/4mv9
  Replies (8) Good night (846) Bad night (587)
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  (410): View more from Maryland

  You tried to pay for our cab with the 2 dollars you got from selling your natty ice outside the strip club.

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  (410): You tried to pay for our cab with the 2 dollars you got from selling your natty ice outside the strip club. http://tfl.nu/mn4e
  Replies (3) Good night (650) Bad night (369)
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  (724): View more from Pennsylvania

  Sorry I drunkenly insulted your air mattress last night. You still could have fucked me on it though.

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  (724): Sorry I drunkenly insulted your air mattress last night. You still could have fucked me on it though. http://tfl.nu/whvr
  Replies (2) Good night (917) Bad night (390)
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  (614): View more from Ohio

  finding an unopened condom on the ground can really change your outlook on the night

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  (614): finding an unopened condom on the ground can really change your outlook on the night http://tfl.nu/xe5e
  Replies (10) Good night (430) Bad night (796)
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  (724): View more from Pennsylvania

  It's gotten so bad I typed my will out on my phone in case it's over.

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  (724): It's gotten so bad I typed my will out on my phone in case it's over. http://tfl.nu/5f4b
  Replies (3) Good night (677) Bad night (454)
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  (720): View more from Colorado

  I'm back in the dating scene now... Since the legality issue calmed down. And my stalking charges were dropped.

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  (720): I'm back in the dating scene now... Since the legality issue calmed down. And my stalking charges were dropped. http://tfl.nu/6z5g
  Replies (4) Good night (326) Bad night (757)
• Favorite

  (+48): View more from Poland

  It's 3 am and I'm buying cat food and batteries for my vibrator. Good thing I shaved my legs for this.

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  (+48): It's 3 am and I'm buying cat food and batteries for my vibrator. Good thing I shaved my legs for this. http://tfl.nu/tdnl
  Replies (6) Good night (500) Bad night (382)
• Favorite

  (217): View more from Illinois

  You missed the winter stoner olympics last night....I got the gold in blunt rolling

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  (217): You missed the winter stoner olympics last night....I got the gold in blunt rolling http://tfl.nu/odh7
  Replies (1) Good night (574) Bad night (256)
• Favorite

  (678): View more from Georgia

  I threw up through my nose tonight. Happy cinco de mayo

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  (678): I threw up through my nose tonight. Happy cinco de mayo http://tfl.nu/5itz
  Replies (0) Good night (230) Bad night (425)

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