I want to buy you liquor! I want to kiss your face.
They are pre-gaming a trip to congress...not sure how politically correct the group is.
YouTube is recomending me a video on how to make a home made meth bong, what has my life come to?
Bookstore boy and I went out, he came back here and I tried to fool around and he respects me too much blah blah I'm a predator.
21 Of The Most Regrettable Tattoo Ideas Ever
you should break up with her....give her the gift of reality
Drunk Tina signed up to be part of the crew team and got a text from the captain telling her there's practice tomorrow. Wtf
SHE JUST SHOVED MY HAND DOWN HER PANTS AT THE BAR
Don't text me with that hand
You don't want any of I have. Seriously. Its 80 proof rum that was 8 bucks for a liter. I'm afraid
I'm sure your liver is writing out a will as we speak
we tried to exchange flip flops in the parking lot and fell over then army crawled home
These 25 People Had Very Inappropriate Sexual Relations(hips)
No I did not just post a Craigslist ad for a used stripper pole because I can't afford my own. But now that you put the idea in my head I might have to.
He threw me over his shoulder and carried me outside, all the while drinking from the bottle of rum he was holding, while my ex watched. I'm winning the break-up.
I spent most of my night in the men's room eating popcorn on the garbage can conversing with strangers pissing
I'm not in it for just the sex. If I wanted mediocre dick once a week I would have stayed with one of my exes.
Like I blink, and he's face first in my vagina.
Sorry for throwing up in your humidifier last night, I thought it was some sort of electrical garbage can