I blacked out in 45 minutes and woke up with a missed call from someone I saved in my phone as the karate kid.
I have a voicemail from Mike at 1am. He starts to say something, but then throws up instead.
I made a mac n' cheesicle. Better in my head than in real life. Gonna keep smoking to see if it gets better.
I couldn't tell if those girls from the bar were lesbians or just awesome
I definitely recall eating shredded cheese out of the bag while you were wearing that apron.
and the award for most disgusting thing ever done on my couch now officially goes to you! Congratulations, you won the couch...I can't even look at it anymore.
I have no recollection of sleep choking you
Yes perhaps we are both wrong. And did you call me bj girl?
Soo time for a life change, my 6 yr old sister made my gf a puke bucket for her birthday
Phone sex soon? I mean date. Sex date. Date phone.
all 3? possibly?
I think I'm up to the challenge.
I hooked up with a lesbian tonite. Top 2 valentines experiences of all time.
I'm over my straight phase. They all turned out to be idiots and none of them got me off. I'm going back to hot girls with strap ons.
Thanks for the Beyonce article. In other news, I just passed a man with the state of Florida tattooed on his face.
I think I accidentally invented a religion.
The parents I babysit for are at this orgy. I need to leave.
Randomize
