Do you feel that fire radiating from matt's crotch for you
Gross. gingers suck
Disgusting. If I saw her naked my dick would pack up his balls and leave.
HOW DID U BEAT A GAY GUY IN GAY CHICKEN?
She just rubbed her face all over pool chalk. I feel like it's time to go
just watched my roommates get stoned and jury rig a pulley system to pass the bowl back and forth across the room.
As I type I'm climbing my cousins swingset so I can take a nap inside the slide. Fuck this hangover. I always win.
I know what you meant. If you want babies in time for your birthday, we gonna need either a time machine or a ski mask.
I just meant the frequency of your blow jobs on a flow chart wouldn't look too promising
Also, do you think i could get away with finishing my vodka cranberry from last night at work if i put orange juice in it? Serious question.
I need you to teach me how to be roommates with somebody I'm not fucking.
i was so high when i left this morning that rather than make sandwiches i threw bread and peanut butter in my backpack. a whole loaf. and a whole jar
Cookies and nudity, all you need in life
I got home and found him passed out in my tank top so i think i'll put lipstick on him and mass text a picture to everyone in his phone. that's what he gets for eating all my wheat thins
my favorite part was when you kept waving @ that guy and insisiting it was your cousin..and it wasnt and wondering why he wasnt waving back lol you were legit PISSED
Speaking of dumpster fires, your ex tried to add me on Facebook
Randomize
