He better hope I dont die soon. Because I would haunt his bitch ass and cock block 24/7
I am sleeping on the floor in your room so if you have sex in here just don't roll on me
the maid of honor just got in a fight with the mother of the bride at a gas station across the street. best. wedding. ever.
I just sneezed and had an orgasam..THAT turned on
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude you can't like a status about me getting hit by a car
This is the time you want your cat to have telepathy with you. To know if the guy downstairs left.
he made me feel like a shish kabob. his dick was the skewer.
and you said he wasn't worth calling.
Dude shes not that fat. Plus, last night I probably would've done it too.
She has either a C-Section scar or a bullet wound, I can't quite tell
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
styled my pubes into a mustache as a surprise. Thought you should know
Tell me I'm the only person you know who could punch someone at the bar, get escorted out, smoke a cig with the cop who almost arrested me AND get the security guy who escorted me out to buy me drinks.
An old white couple caught us smoking the foot long. THE LOOK ON THEIR FACES.
He responded to all of my texts prodding for dirty talk with "I will do anything you are comfortable with."\n\nChivalry is great, but being comfortable doesn't get me wet.
He texted me at 4:30 in the morning saying "I'm not drunk but I think you're beautiful" and then a facebook message at 6 am saying "hi" and the subject was "oh"
is it still considered wake n bake if you wake up at 2 pm?
Randomize