maybe i get so drunk and make stupid mistakes cuz Subconsiously im preparing for my real world debut
so exactly how many freshman chicks did i tell to call me "the tripod"?
I swear if his heart was half the size of the cum stains he's left on my sheets we would have the perfect relationship
I full on slapped a girl with pizza. Like in the face with sauce splattered everywhere and grease with a hard slap to the face.
There is a guy, stoned out of his mind, only wearing slippers and a bathrobe in the library.
Just you wait I'll be crying and puking everywhere in no time
If you wanna be a real wingman, create some insecurity and comment on that pic of all the hot girls with "Id do every girl in this pic.. except the fat one".
We played alot of beer pong and ventured into the woods with tiki torches
the mexican frat downstairs started singing this mariachi song, then out of nowhere some dude busts out a trumpet and plays along. is this even real?
I was mid hand job and stopped me because he wanted to "connect" which meant putting his thumb in between my eyebrows and a hand over my heart and closing our eyes...
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
Got drunkdialed by my estranged mom while wallowing in pinkeye drinking 100 proof eating ramen alone. Year summed up perfectly.
The other day, he sent me a snapchat of his dick in the forest. He captioned it "nature nudes."
I honestly just wanna put my face in her tits and disappear from this plane of existence
Are these your boobs on my camera?
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