I could tell by the way he was holding my hand that he really liked you
this is like black Friday for my dealer. I'm literally standing in line.
I know it was you that I fucked last night... I can smell my disappointment all over the sheets
By the third Id pass back i figured the bouncer had fucked one of us.
This just spotted: a bagpiping Elmo on the street.
He bought me a oreo ice cream cake with "thanks for not calling the cops!" written in icing. If that doesn't sum up winter break, I don't know what does.
We shot off some fireworks at 12 and then I orchestrated the group singing of god bless the USA all while wearing a don't tread on me flag as a cape. I repped hard.
You just yell-acapella'd the theme to fresh prince of bel air to me while a different song is playing in the bar.
i made the walk of shame wearing her booty shorts that said juicy on the back. i'm still counting it as a good night
And thanks to you I'm pretty sure I'm banned from every qdoba in south carolina. And cab company
A guy claiming to be the Japanese counterpart to the White Power Ranger is trying to take me home....
If you ever feel goofy just think of the fact that I just shaved the batman symbol into my pubes
I've decided to have sex with him one more time to make sure I don't like him
Afterwards the first thing I said was, "You know, you're probably the first guy who has ever gotten laid wearing Star Wars pajama bottoms."
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed...
Randomize
