yea ive hooked up with like half those guys
and i've hooked up with the other half...when our powers combine, we are captain slutbag
You'd think with all the porn he watches he'd be a little better at this...
Fuck the gym. I just shaved m'cooch and my pants now fit looser.... Dont judge me.
They ran out of vodka so we started doing Body Doritos.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Getting too drunk for the hot dog vendor to serve me is possibly a sign of an alcohol problem. I threw up in the sewer grates next to his stand
she was rubbing her elbow against the fish tank and laughing hysterically then she said I'M THEIR FISHY GOD and watched harry potter
i probably shouldve stopped when i uncurled the curly straw in my cocktail because it was slowing me down
I threw up in the bar parking lot and yelled THIS IS MY FUTURE.
I just made cupcakes.... Vodka icing. Results in the morning.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Mcnellies. I'm drunk enough that you have a window. Capitalize.
I need five more minutes of sobbing.. AND THEN I will get back to studying
You literally chaperoned my booty call.
He pulled out a Plan B pill and handed it to me as I left like it was a party favor. God Bless America.
We fucked on the roof... like that has to mean something
it is time to test the effects of half a loaf of bread and overconfidence on the human body
Randomize