Ok I love you more. To infumty and beyong.
you threw up in the bushes next to the ABC store and kept saying "you're home, blueberry vodka, you're home!"
did she really put a helmet on, try to make a hole in the wall then pass out on the floor ten minutes later? if thats true ill be there in 15
You are the only one who would stop a bum, tell him to open up, then pour straight vodka in his mouth. You made his year.
The to do list extremely baked self wrote for me last night says "1. Join gym 2. Passport? 3. Join a gym" And then just a drawing of a squid
i officially have over $300 in my bank account. that's a year's worth of chipotle.
I'm so lazy and tired i just want to cry and fall asleep in a bed of egg mcmuffins.
I guess I'm just gonna have to learn to live with the fact that I'm the guy who takes his pants off at the party and tries to start an orgy
But seriously. What possible excuse could I come up with to ditch my parents on Christmas to go fuck him?
lets go to sea world and you can just hit on every guy in a wetsuit until you get lucky
tuscaloosa is terrifying
like people here are just empty shells of drugs and sin
there is no mercy here
There were containers of weed in the piñata. How much more Colorado does it get
TRY TO UNDERSTAND I HAVE MAGIC POWERS HOLY FUCKING SHIT
I found half a candy bar in my bra today... Melted to my nipple. What a mess. It was still good though.
first he passed out on the toilet...then hugged it and screamed no no no as i tried to pull him out
Randomize
