just saw a guy driving a atv down the highway in a tux.... only in Iowa...
You love him. Dinosaurs. Math. Sex.
I'd like to be considered more than just his fuck buddy thanks. IVE BEEN RISKING PREGNANCY FOR SEVEN GODDAMN MONTHS I DESERVE THE TITLE OF GIRLFRIEND
Only I could run tino my father in law while looking at condoms at Rite Aid. At 730 on a Thursday morning. I'm in trouble.
Let the vodka take you where it will. Like Pocahontas, but wasted
I got propositioned while wearing the bottom half of a horse costume. It's like god is apologizing to me in the strangest of ways.
All i remember is you yelling at a stop sign and the rest is a blur
So if her brother fucks my brother, can I just tell her that anal sex is in her genes?
She doesn't even know his real name...he just keeps calling himself Hans the Third
So we were in bed when his brother walks in, walks over to me, fist bumps me and says he just wanted to say hi, then leaves...so random lmao
he had hair everywhere except his balls
I know he’s a bad decision but he's casual, his penis is amazing and his technique is on point.
I'm crying during the second episode of Golden Girls that's how high I am.
Fuuuuuck dude, he’s got #Excel in his Facebook bio; I’m screaming
Someone puked in my crockpot. Your friends can’t come over any more.
Randomize
