And God said, "Let there be Twilight," and it was so.
I should injure you considerably.
I found the TV remote. It was in the washing machine along with the chicken wings you kept complaining to Domino's about that they 'never delivered'
I'm taking this break up pretty rough.. I've never been to sad to masturbate.
she pulled the sheets over her head to blow me but the static kept making little lightning bolts and I was too high and got really scared she was going to electrocute me.
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Washing vom off hardwood, so much easier than carpet. Thank you adulthood!
I'm at this kids house trying to figure out if I pissed in his kitchen new years eve. Lmao, stop letting me drink.
My mom got me high and then dropped me off at a church.
I've abandoned trying to find a logical explanation of your life.
Alright, text me when you get close. I've got a mustache and I'm ready to get my day drunk on.
Bar selfie Saturday turned into bar nudie Saturday in a hurry. I need to delete my snapchat...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's meant to be, Cynthia. You, him, and your developed breasts are meant for each other.
The dysfunction is strong in this one.
I snapchatted him 4 pictures of me as Tarzan's dad so if he never talks to me again at least we'll know why
I mean I made my therapist laugh so hard she cried....so yes, my life is literally a joke to everyone
I think we have some hyper-understanding of each other when drunk, because looking back at our text convo from last night, they were literally just jumbled letters.
New rock bottom. Woke up at 7 am fully clothed in a bathtub full of water. I hate myself.
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