just saw someone whip out a flask during lecture... I think I found a study partner
It took me four clicks to get to 2009 on his profile. This can't work.
Sorry I tried to blow your roommate in your room. I felt more at home there.
I was just informed that you are the reason for my 2 missing front teeth.
Definitely just puked in this corn maze. Families are staring.
I don't give a damn about what he wants to do with his life. Personalities are for pussies.
Vaguely remember? You pushed George and two other fellas out the way to hug me, screamed gandalf before chugging your beer and smashing the bottle on the floor. I lolled.
My dad is so drunk he attempted to ride my two year old cousin's tricycle. For a solid five minutes.
I mean, two foreign guys have drunkenly confessed their love for her, so she's clearly doing something right.
How do you tell an ex that banging less hot chicks than me is highly insulting? I almost want to try and get him laid with a pretty girl just to save some face for dating him so long.
Because I'm a hot mess throwing up in the litter box
he made that chewbacca noise when he came. like father like son i guess.
The guy next to me on the bus has one hole in his jeans that has over 20 mini dicks drawn on his leg. Classic.
I mean, drunk me really liked him, maybe sober me will too. Who am I to deny fate?
What? I'll do just about anything if you give me a sticker.
Randomize
