Is it 'vaginas' or 'vaginae?'. Either way there were a shit ton of them.
"Tonight I'm turning swine flu into an std" this might be how zombies come about. Peace civilization.
Anyway, my grandfather thinks you're attractive
we talked about european history as he fucked me from behind in the shower... i think it was a success
so according the 72 facebook statuses i put up last night that i don't recall, i would say it was a success. how about you?
I have vomit stuck in my nose, you should come with a warning label.
i tried to knight her with my dick. she said it was unromantic. what an ungrateful attitude for a knight.
i still can't believe we survived that barcrawl. the third bar had bullet holes and we still went in.
It's like a squid of pain has attached to my head and it spreading it's whorey tentacles all over.
He told me he wanted a penis beard so that he could look at girls faces when they gave him blowjobs. i have to say, i kind of admire his creativity
yyyea i think im gonna go get a bowl and play skyrim. And by bowl i mean something i can throw up in, not weed
Then we woke up and they shouted "Emergency Vodka!!" and that's how we got redrunk.
I just found a piece of dried shredded carrot on my bed
The prescription the hospital gave me for pain and nausea doubles for my hangovers... Maybe I'll hit up the ER more often
WHY DOES MY BOYFRIEND'S BROTHER HAVE TO BE SO FUCKING HOT
Randomize
