dude she has hot friends.. do you want blonde brunette or red head.. maybe asian?
what is this build-a-bear? .. just gimme one thats breathing
Oh please. You given/recieved a handjob out in public. I think that shy ship has sailed.
there are way too many $1s in my wallet for last night to have been 'tame'
We sat on the porch laughing about hilarious the sunrise was. And that we can do drugs again in the morning, thank god
Is YOLO really just a socially acceptable way to say you enjoy putting things up your nose?
We'll talk about this tommorrow when I'm not mistaking my fingers for French fries....
well after pounding on the ceiling for 5 mins i just went up there to tell them to shut up.. 2 hours later i'm naked, high, lying on their kitchen floor. it escalated so quickly
My 19 year old brother just hooked up with his 45 year old cougar kindergarten teacher. These sorts of situations make me realize why the sorority girls call him Wondercock
I'm gonna keep a minimum of five drink promise to myself
You mean maximum 5?
I just picked up my phone and one shoe from the man mowing the lawn next to the ice rink. He found them in a tree.
She touched my penis and started laughing. She did the same thing when she blew me.
So we hooked up and then instead of texting me, he endorsed me on LinkedIn for Microsoft Word a few days later
COVER ME IN BACON THATS MY FETISH
ACTUALLY ITS NOT, I HAVE NO FUCKING IDEA WHAT AWAKENS THE MONSTER BELOW THE BELT
Haha just talked to the dude you bit on Thursday. He has been growing a beard to hide the bruising....
please god let this picture I just uploaded not have my vagina in it
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