he got wood on it!
i know. i had to sit in his lap on the plane. he also wore teva sandals.
...i was talking about hockey
The jonas brothers playing in your laptop. This is why guys won't sleep with you...
so i'm just gonna leave my credit card in your mailbox so you can bail me outta jail.. deal?
It's one of the reasons i'm here, along with emotional support, physical support if you need it, and power orgasms.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So how do we make 4/20 better than every other day we are stoned?
Seeing a catheter being inserted into a penis severely diminished my sex life
My friend just ordered a beer and poured it on the floor in celebration of open bar night
please promise me that no matter what happens you will keep me away from the children
Come over, I want to eat cookie dough off your dick.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I told you I'm not going to the Phillies game until we're tripping balls
My boyfriend just asked what time I was coming over. As soon as my old BF unchains me. I think he ran away.
Just to let you know... If you ever want to get me a gift, the One Direction perfume comes out soon....... It's called Our Moment. It's an appropriate gift for a 25 year old woman.
Showed up to family party blacked out and in a turkey costume. I'd say thanksgiving was a success.
He told me that when he bends me over that chair I remind him of a bull rider. So thanks for being the ex that helps my present sex life
Ur dad just showed me a tit pic he got omf
Randomize