what's Bukake?
a bad idea.
proudest moment: just made a guy walk into a parked car with his mouth hanging open cause of the shirt im wearing.
I came home to my brother stoned out of his mind. He got a high score on COD and asked me to have a celebration yogurt with him.
Not gonna lie i was comfortable between the allsups air conditioners while you were talking to the cop.
There is soup leaking out of my nose nothing in life has prepared me for this moment
He kept telling me that something was trying to enter this dimension from another universe through his spine...
Me ending up in the fetal position in my shower is becoming far too commonplace. It's like a weekly therapy session
A few days ago I apparently came up, asked her to make me soup, and handed her a can of coconut milk.
Nothing like coming home and finding the nearly full bottle of fireball you forgot you had stashed before your trip
It's the little things
For breaking and entering. I think neighbor dan cared more about me puking in his backseat than the surprise of me waking up there
When I go out tonight I need to make sure to be really good. The Easter bunny doesn't deliver to jail
I need a costume for that party. Even if I'm just taking it off.
I dropped a piece of Mac and cheese in the shower and I almost still ate it. Stoned, but not stoned enough to degrade myself.
If everyone felt the happiness from apple crown royal we would be in a better place
we're tipping the strippers with chocolate coins.
Randomize
