Pete just told the whole party I'm a squirter
It's not true, it's not true! She's too full of cheese to have sexy time!
Please come to History lecture. The kid two seats over is belligerently drunk.
I think the fact that my first kiss is now in a porno says a lot about why my life is the way it is
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hooking up with him would mean my type has officially become... drug dealer.
someone just drove by blasting livin on a prayer and threw like 6 bagels out the window... was it you?!
Well, I wanted to be you for Halloween but I couldn't fit seven dicks in my mouth.
Until you find your self finger banging supergirl in the middle of the dance floor while her friends are passing around for luigi mustache for a photo op, YOU HAVE NOT HIT MY LEVEL
You're an asshole. I don't want your dick as my background. I'll look like I have a thumb fetish.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's like your nipple is comforting my nipple.
Girl this is ridiculous I told my self that I would stop having sex in stairwells yet it keeps happening
the reputation of my dick game is on the line. You're killing the team, here, G
It's like everything I need in life within a five block radius: booze, toilets, dogs, dicks.
Awwww breaks my heart, I just wanna fix his teeth and give him a blowjob.
I am praying to every god I can that he drank so much that he won't even remember me
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