she was a 2....and a legitimate 2. like, helen keller is a 1, this girl...2.
i think beer pong is the only time ive ever found a use for geometry
I drove to my yoga class while eating a piece of bacon. Wow. I see myself in a whole new light.
stayed up to watch the sunrise..saw an albino taking shots on the quad..it's like there's a whole new world of people out there just waiting to meet us
Somewhere at this very moment, a group of drunk white girls are singing dont stop believing.
The guy in the American Flag bikini was telling the women he was disgusted at the amount of alcohol they weren't drinking. Then it got ridiculous.
Did you guys have sex yet? And don't worry, I broke the ice already by sending this to both of you. So you can just jump right into it. You're welcome.
You better be Eskimo Brother-ing the FUCK out of tonight right now. Long distance 'balls deep' high five
I WISH WE COULD PLAY THE DRINKING GAME TOGETHER AND THEN BANG FOR AMERICA.
the bruises from climbing out of the window last night make sitting at my desk impossible. legit excuse to not study right?
That guy drinking savagely was actually at his buddy's gay bachelor party in the male stripper section. He came over to the chicks side so we drank with him.
He had some sort of penis-related post traumatic stress disorder, but body shots seemed to wake him up
Serio, who the fuck falls down coming offstage wearing nothing but pasties, a g-string, and a fake moustache, and now suddenly needs a tetanus shot. Me. That's who.
Okay, so when I go to meet your grandma, let's do a quick cum check to we don't have another "what's that on your face?" situation.
Something about finishing sexting a guy and him going "well. I have to get ready for Passover now" really makes me rethink my life choices
There's a weed, money and oreo filled pinata promised for our party.
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