someone just puked in the library. they put up caution tape. i totally underestimated finals week.
just letting you know that jen either: wasn't feeling well and ate grass to make herself throw up or threw up because she's stupid and ate grass
announcing that you were the mayor of bjtown got their attention.
I fucking, woke up on a couch with a towel as a blanket to someones lion king ringtone.
He ate shrooms at 9:30, said, "see you later," and left. I am alone on New Years.
If you don't ever hear from me again, just know that I loved you
Jesus Christ that's like a real possibility
How many other adults do you think have slept naked under the Winnie the Pooh blanket sober?
I'm just checking to make sure you don't want to go to the farmers market... This is an assumption based on the fact that you were slapped with a sandwich last night and you remained unconscious.
so I may or may not have had intense sex to mozart's greatest hits on vinyl... I don't know if I should be proud or just really disappointed in my nerdness
WHO THE FUCK PEED IN MY BONG
Well in other news, my nipples are healing pretty well but next time I get drunk and decide to pierce something please for the love of god stop me!
Is it okay that we fucked on my car hood, in his driveway, at 4 am with cars passing by ?
Dude, no, you tried to sleep on the stove. I mean. You were pissed when I stopped you... but I couldn't have you catching on fire in my house.
I remember turning to Jon after doing a line of coke and saying "I was a Girl Scout"
I just thought that if your brother was ever going to invite me over again, he probably shouldn't catch me fucking you in his bathroom.
Randomize
