I totally give up. Optimus Prime just fell from the top of the Great Pyramid into the hypostyle hall at Karnak.
Do you have a shampoo for semen
Or a time machine
ran into someone who graduated hs with us while i was paying for booze in quarters. i love it when people from my past catch me in my classier moments.
how was your day?
fuck the small talk. are you bringing the liquor tonight or am i?
Yeah I hope so. Definately just saw two freshmen in very authentic togas and cotton ball beards. This new class is stepping it up.
Spent 200 bucks on a stripper for a good night hug. I give up.
I've gotta stop getting kicked out of bars for fighting with people over the accuracy of the Harry Potter movie.
So the bartender tried kicking me out but i screamed im an RA you cant kick me out
Youll thank me when youre dead an dont have a cat eating your face
Text me all the things you want us to do this summer. So far, I have Kegstand written down
You rolled onto your side and told me 'this is the recovery position'. That was after you were stoned. You've done this way too much.
he sneezed into my face mid-kiss
Bless his heart
I haven't showered. And am sitting in the office smelling like a beer can someone's been using as an ash tray.
I don't remember anything from last night, but at track I found my thong next to the high jump pit... So it must has been decent
The thing about online classes is the prof can't tell this mug is full of beer.
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