I had a dream last night that we were eating cake at Mercy...hahaha. I'm furious I didn't see you.
He looked like the mexican version of Steve Carrell with a unibrow.
I told you I would drunk text you sometime........its that time.
Sundays have taken on a whole new meaning when I'm not in bed with an excruciating hangover.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She soaked the fruit in vodka for ten minutes and then mixed it with normal fruit and sherbert icecream. It was called "lottery fruit".
Ok see being that I'm not present or participating your vague texts "neeeeed that" and "vagina" leave a lot to question.
I have no idea how I got home or why I am naked but I assume I owe you a thank you...
he kept saying that we were in ian's fun time place and then continued to act like a dinosaur.
OMG IM A TIGER AND I LOVE ROARING
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You would seriously think I would remember who put themselves in my phone as Burt Rynalds Moustache, but I don't. And I need to be reminded of who you are so I can give you a proper high five.
I just watched my high school guidance counselor pee in the backyard of this party.
Not gonna lie I just got drunk and started doing applications because I know I'm going into work tomorrow still drunk
You ate my ass why wouldn't I remember you
WHY THE FUCK DOES RICKY'S BROTHER GET AN ENTIRE POT OF PASTA FOR BEING SHIRTLESS AND ALL I GET IS ARRESTED?!
When he busted out the ketchup I got the hell out of there. It got really creepy really fast.
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