Fuck u you updated twitter but didn't answer my text
I know you're alive
I just saw a neon sign in a bar window that says, "open to Public" but the L is burnt out.
Sitting at a bar next to a guy wearing sunglasses drinking a pitcher by himself and having an argument with himself over if journey is more ballin than kiss. Feel better about myself.
she screamed"i told you already! counter clockwise spiral and the clockwise spiral!!" right in the middle of sex
wow, i never thought dating a choreographer would be so harsh
Dude its 315 and I'm sitting here eating slices of cheese. Don't talk to me about tomorrow.
for future reference: playing drunken strip-twister is a euphemism for a threesome. just thought you should know.
I'm not holding out much hope. She met me in a nighclub when I was arguing with the cigarette machine
I can't look at him without thinking about his cum face
I just beer bonged. Soco and spite please get on my levvl my hair is in buns
But apparently I got kicked in the head by a stripper at some point
While I'm on hiatus from the Russian potato nectar, it is my wish for others to enjoy it in my stead.
I was stopped at a light on my way home and a priest threw holy water on my car. Seems fitting after last night.
He smells like cinnamon, and what I imagine to be orgasms
we talked about the guy being eaten by the anaconda.. Then I proceeded to blow him
Slept on the bathroom floor again. I hope when I turn 28 I’ll stop doing that
Randomize
