you kept talking about how hot andy milinakis is and the things you would do with him. no more tequila from him.
dude, it should not be this hard to find a bottomless mimosa on a friday morning
I had one margarita and got the worst headache of my life... its like my liver has senior week ptsd
Wednesday. Otherwise known, to you at least, as "there are two gay men in my bed" day.
All I wanted was a "this is what America feels like" blowjob before I left. Is that too much to ask for?
Maybe your new years resolution should be not to fuck in Sears bathroom anymore.
He just told me the blow job I gave him was like a journey
I mean, he drove your car and it burst into flames, if anyone cant be trusted, it's him.
I mean, I would have, but I couldn't come up with a logical reason to bring up oral sex during an orientation.
how did you set a fucking salad on fire????????
I'm definitely single now but she stole my mailbox
Uhhh...I just found your 10 dollar bill in my bra. I owe you 10 dollars.
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
He passed out in my car.
What's the problem?
HE'S STILL IN MY FUCKING CAR.
Her mom Is so hot that when she was bending over i just zoned out starin at her ass her dad slapped me on the back an said let me tell you son everything you see here is mine and you had better realize i felt like simba
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