Just wanted to remind you that you literally cut the underwear off a man.
Walked into a liquor store bleeding. That kind of night.
That poor kid, I literally invited myself over and took advantage of him.
yea I'm sure he was really upset some drunk girl showed up to fuck him.
Do you have to put it that way?
Just remember that she is a giant dick-sucking forehead and you are better than that.
My dad just gifted me an alaskan flag he stole from the govenor's mansion. He said it was to hang on the wall at 3316, to start a morning ritual. Then he mimed kegstands and vomiting. Senior year will be epic.
They were actually really boring considering how we met them.
howd you meet them?
They got shit-faced and decided to take a train to a city none of them had ever been to. We found them wandering the ghetto, with a bottle of gin and singing Disney songs.
Don't pretend like we're functional. We're gonna discuss this drunkenly via text the way serious conversations should take place.
I don't remember anything that happened last night past 10.. I made him buy me a Buckeye's Donut tshirt. I have no idea why he'd want to fuck me after that.
I was wearing the shirt my little sister got for her birthday when the condom broke. I finally have it back to her and told her it was bad luck
I couldn't finish the episode and had to lay down because the snapple commercial with the mustache was blowing my mind
You know the party's good when you say "Never have I ever caused an emergency landing" and someone drinks
He literally lured me in the house with his cat then we ended up fucking on the living room couch while the cat just sat there and watched
5 seconds ago I had no idea that a fart could travel so fastly thru the tanning bed. I taste it in the back of my neck.
I just had a legitimate orgy. Wearing glowsticks.
.......do you have the salami in bed? I'm trying to make a sandwich.
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