Hawaiian shirts and no dignity
We are always on the same wavelength...kinda eerie.
well yea, now i know i won't get hair in my teeth...
I feel like a fucked a broomstick last night. You get a gold star.
Just think, this time last Cinco de Mayo you were holding me up and finding me passed out in the yard of that house.
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I apologize for getting really drunk, taking off my shirt, bitching someone out, crying, and breaking something at your party next weekend...
He's either jacking off or listening to Kanye West.
by the end of the night two people were passed out at the table, three on the couches, and one in the bathroom. it looked like someone pumped sleeping gas into the middle of a dinner party.
I'm drunk, we're losing, and I'm in the visitors stands. This is about to get ugly.
To the person who put the glitter on my ceiling fan...fuck you
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just sat in the bathtub with the shower running so I could eat the whole box of mega stuffed Oreos. What am I doing with my life
I'm getting a car wash man. I am go get a car wash high.
These are the last few fleeting sober moments of the day for me. If there is anything you need me to do today, please tell me now
For a second I thought I had fallen asleep on the floor and freaked out. Then I thought somehow I was on drugs. This is my life.
The lady that was sitting beside me thought the best way to cheer herself up was to pet and ruffle my hair while crying and telling me her problems...
When you wake up and wonder why your bleeding and it feels like you jumped into a ceiling fan, dont worry. Ill explain it all when I wake up.
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