Are you okay?
Don't worry. Self-respect preserved. My speech was Grey's quality... I made him cry.
Proposition. Sex. No words, no talking about it later. I just want you tonight.
I love how you are more concerned with what i call my penis than the fact i wanna bone some high school chicks
So how does it feel getting boo'd by the entire 5 guys restaurant
Dude sorry but it totally wasn't worth going back in there for yous shoes
We tried. It's impossible to cum while bouncing on a trampoline. It's like trying to sneeze while keeping your eyes open.
She's currently upstairs fucking her boyfriend while I am downstairs making them a sex playlist watching her boyfriend's Weiner dog and large Boxer try and mount each other. Marvin Gaye is playing. This is the ultimate third wheel fail.
Dude, double fisting packs of Ramen saved my life last night
Someone just walked into the bar with a pillow
I don't know whether to judge him or give him a high five
Considering all of my stomach contents ended up in my center console, I'm a bit peckish.
I told him I was on my period but he says "I'm a doctor, you think I can't handle blood?" And just went for it. Jackpot
Look, road flare archery was agreed on. We both accepted it was a shit idea sober, but did it drunk anyway.
Woke up from a black out in a strangers Jeep without phone, shoes, or wallet.
You use your abs way more than I realized. Btw multiple orgasms is the best thing I've ever discovered.
and eventually we just all took our pants off
Randomize
