I murdered the dance floor call the cops
Only at my house do scrabble games turn into fist fights. I won though... the fight not the board game.
you made me "pop lock and drop it" as a sobriety test last night..
Skanksgiving break is awesome already... pilgrim and indian roleplay tonight.
she just convinced the cop to buy us ice-cream sandwiches. best/worst stoned experience ever.
I just remembered how awesome your handjobs were in 7th grade, you were a true champ, thank you
So I just saw Jonah Hill at LAX and decided my fat fetish is back
You should go to counseling for that
Standing in my kitchen eating choc chip cookie batter from the bowl. As sad as it is, I kinda like the places bad breakups take me.
And I'd make him talk dirty to me. In Forrest Gump's voice.
I just Miyagied my roommate through her first set of tit pics. Her fuck buddy owes me.
Ive been high since the plane left the ground in Los Angeles and Ive been in Chicago. Right now, Im on a train headed towards downtown to go to an anime convention. At this point, I am just taking life as it comes, furries and all.
So you thought it was a good idea to make plans for the same time same place with the guy you were sort of dating AND his best friend you slept with?
Fuck me I smell like cheese
After passing out at the kitchen table, you woke up in my parents bed in between them. With no pants on.
So your telling me I can lick your ass but you CAN'T spend my money
Randomize
