So I have to ask... did I meet your lumberjack expectations? I mean, minus the red flannel and all.
So she said she wears a diaper when she's on her period and I'm not going to lie, I kind of want to see the diaper.
well..after leaving the bar you handed me your wallet and said you didnt need it cause you were going to find the cash cab and added 'i'll see you on tv'
Eric and I got kicked off of karaoke last night. Apparently, singing about masturbation to the tune of "A Whole New World" is not appropriate and definitely frowned upon by the DJ.
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i've decided that sluts are like cars. they may look good as hell on the outside, but you never know what kind of shit is hiding under the hood.
I truly believe that the solid foundation of any healthy relationship is a drunken one night stand so I can just get all the nasty shit out on the table
he payed over $300 just to break into the hotel pool and skinny dip alone for 5 minutes and then peace in a cab. and all he had to say for himself was "gotta go swimming, gotta live life"
where do u find these people!?
admittedly, it's a little weird getting relationship advice from the mother of a former one night stand. but she's a wise lady and she buys me drinks, so i'm ok with it.
i dont remember how or why, but i now have 3 coupons for a free BJ from Anise stapled to my right arm.
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Drunk Karaoke resulted in only 8 injuries this time, so there is some improvement.
I thought he was foreign, but it turns out when you're that drunk, an Ohio accent just sounds Russian.
Turns out that Irishman put my panties under his pillow afterward. Thanks?
Why did the sexual harassment class show a clip from frozen?
Love waking up to a new contact named “Pizza” btw
Look don't ask questions just know that one thing led to another and I have a shot glass stuck in my ass. I need your help!!!
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