After he finished I threw up my arms and shouted STEVE HOLT!
Ive been tazing him too get him immuned. He will be unstopable.
When you went through airport security you asked if the could check if a baby was in there. That drunk.
Before I dignify that with an answer, let me get this straight. You're asking me if I wiped my ass on the towels?
Housekeeping called in a homicide detective. Just spent an hour explaining that we had vigorous hotel vacation sex five times, even though I was having a heavy flow day. It'll definitely be what you call a memorable honeymoon.
there was so much ham clogging the tub drain.. he said it was ok he has a cleaning lady
Ok, gonna go sleep cuz my brain wants to be smart and not follow my pussy into the danger zone
She thinks I come over for the sex, but I really come for the snacks.
He pissed on a police station. Then expected to not be arrested. Sounds accurate.
My philosophy professor just told the class that he is suspicious of dolphins. The stoner in front of me totally gets it. I need to start getting high for this class.
We took her out for fresh air and next thing we knew, she was stumbling around the backyard picking dead leaves up off the ground and putting them in her shirt to "save them".
I just look at my butt and see so much potential.
Well let me fuck you while I make potatoes. It's every girls dream
can you come here so we can have really loud sex? the girl upstairs walks so loud i want her to know how it feels
of course
Bahahaha I just turned on the fan in front of the elliptical to avoid puking//try to get some baywatch hair going and the guy next to me thanked me because he was "getting nauseas from the smell of stale sweat and tequila"
Randomize
