New drinking game watching teenage mutant ninja turtles movie and drinking every time raphael says damn, someone says april or ms oneil, and shredder appears And every time we see a mustache
She said she had a thing for dinosaurs. Come get me now
just saw a dude in a v-neck sweater on a bike drinking starbucks. way to feed the stereotypes white dude.
I know man...but i cant pass up a catholic school girl fantasy
then they caught me trying to hide the turtle in the fridge
I gotta stop tellin complete strangers at the bar that they're the godparents to my first born
you might as well be a hobo. you were covered in pee last night hanging out on the stairs drunk.
right. well we all have our lows.
I don't think you seem to understand this concept. WHEN A GAY GUY HANDS YOU A DAIQUIRI, YOU DRINK IT.
I shouldn't be home alone with this much peanut butter and the dog. I feel like i'm being recorded to see when my desperation will peak.
theres chocolate ground into my couch, nerds candy all over the floor and cocaine on every surface. great memorial day weekend and yours?
You came over, called every girl Comrade Heather, and then declared that you were an Eagle, and we were your young.
So all in all, a good night.
im in the library and there's this guy on a computer just staring at a google image of beer. finals week is rough.
I love being high. The owl outside stopped who-ing and I could swear I just heard someone say, "Okay, that's a wrap!"
Just had a guy try to pull the maraca out of my shirt with his teeth... Wtf
My fuck it list is complete! I finally got a firefighter!
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