school has made you so classy.
that's mcgill. producing sluts since 1884.
my underwear are soaked with white zifandel yet i have continued to wear them despite the fact im at home
Aparently his snake got loose in the middle of the night. Not a sex joke, he has a fucking snake
She's pissed. She declared she was moving out and proceeded to pack 3 pairs of shoes, her electric wine opener and ONE sock. Then told us to have fun paying her portion of the rent.
Your two fuck buddies playing ping pong together. HOW. ADORABLE!
when it says do not use on the face or genital areas, it MEANS do not use on the face or genital areas.
I just couldn't load the family groceries on to the same seat where I had sex 12 hours ago.
This is a great bar, except you can't even randomly burst into song without them assuming you're drunk and cutting you off.
its just been over 12 hours, and i`m dying, don`t know how i`m supposed to survive the holidays sexless
He's saved in my phone as 'MURICA. I think it's safe to say I'm not exactly taking him seriously.
All I know is that at 4 am I was walking down the street in my bra and his shorts and Im pretty sure I passed my grandma on her morning walk.
So "I hate myself Mondays" has extended to Tuesday this week. I just had peanut butter and a glass of wine for lunch.
I'll admit it. It was a bad idea to sneak a fart out while she was taking a nap. Can you bring me a pair of underwear from my dresser. Preferably the one with the walruses in party hats one.
Teach me the ways of your demonic sorcery.
6 showers laters and I still feel like I have his vomit in my vagina. At least I could help him figure out he's gay.
Randomize
