I called her a whore. 15 minutes later she gave me head at arby's while i was eating a roast beef. best afternoon ever
You love popeyes more than me
does delicious chicken come out of your vagina?
this isnt the person you just texted but i have her phone. she disappeared when the bacon came home and she hasn't returned since.
her sex was completely horrible but her weed was great. imma ask her out again
Please find an outlet that isn't stripping or getting drunk and arrested
We tried. It's impossible to cum while bouncing on a trampoline. It's like trying to sneeze while keeping your eyes open.
walking back to the dorm.. she is flashing evryone, demanding beads. we tried to stop her and now she just keeps yelling "Bourbon st bitchesss"... you get her tomorrow
Dude he's the best wing man ever. He starts creepin' on a woman, and she clings on to you out of fear.
Last time i was there we saw the window of the pizza place we were at get busted, we were pulled out of a taxi to be questioned by the cops, and we peed outside a waffle house. I'm in.
I was busy. But now I'm about to consume alcohol and chicken. We shall see where this takes us. Maybe to the moon, maybe to the floor. I have no idea.
25 likes of a picture on Instagram of my butthole. beat that.
I just remembered you throwing bread at me and getting me to drink water out of a heineken bottle. You are my best friend.
You kept saying "this bitch", mumbled incoherently for like 5 minutes, took a shot, and kept going.
I was really hoping my 420 would involve a lot more weed and a lot less buttholes
Fuck you and your widespread penis snapchat
Randomize
