I stuck it in and pulled it out
Did she like it?
She giggled?
She liked it
No she wasnt mad! I told her that I "mis-remembered" nailing her friend.
Oh shit. The kids are pole dancing on a broom. It's like I'm seeing my future offspring before my eyes.
just found $310, wrapped in a rubber band, at the bottom of my sock drawer with a note attached stating, "Make it rain".
She bit a glass in half.
dude you guys. You can't throw up in the recycling bin. I don't think vomit is recyclable
i'm not entirely sure that 'not getting kicked out of the bar until it got dark' really classifies as 'doing better'
she bonged a coffee cause she was hungover. then she bonged a beer cause she got ambitious. then she barfed. then she had to start over again.
He started doing the gator chop at my vag and said he couldn't wait to "chomp" on it later...and I still slept with him. I hate gainesville.
When you get here, kick me in the balls. It's really important. - I'll explain later.
This is like the best thing that's ever happened to us. We're getting paid to sit around get high and eat. There is a Jesus
hes that one kid that offered to spoon after staring at me for 5 minutes
The perfect man would keep a whisky sour in my hand and give me endless sex. I really don't think that's too much to ask for.
I knew it was all downhill from there when the straight vodka I was drinking tasted like water.
All I heard was "sit on my face" "okay" and muffled screaming. I'm still disappointed.
Randomize
