I swear my cock just shook it's head disapprovingly at me.
Made a salesman quit his job, a saleswoman cry, and got a manager to half shout "fuck this"....successful drunk Christmas shopping
She greeted me with a new giants jersey and an opening day blowjob. this is true love.
She said I came to for a minute, shouted IHOP!! and then shook my head and said no before passing out again
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He is the one I "technically" lost my virginity to.
I feel like you never had a virginity..
Yeah... I was considering changing that part but the boxed wine is non-negotiable.
Since he's sober and out of jail, he acts like we are the worst people on Earth. Fuck him, the only acceptable time in life to do coke is the early twenties. He won't take that from us.
you were drunkenly making out with a 20-something in front of your wife. at least the guy your wife left with was decent looking.
Just found my glass of wine on top of the litter box. Every argument ever is invalid.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You had a fry stuck to your face... Every five mins you would wake up, take a bite, put it back then fall asleep again...
literally 50% of my time being 20 has involved my genitals thus far
xanax give me strength to not ask where we stand with booty calls
I just googled "can they trace a vibrator back to you" so that' s how my life it going.
For the first time in my life, I still have money by the next payday. Who is this responsible person and what have they done with the real me?
I’m pregaming Christmas shopping with grandma. What’s up?
Randomize