id be glad to
Most awkward thing ever just happened. I was reaching in my purse to get something and a condom fell out into the woman's lap next to me. At least she knows I'm safe.
im on my way to getting "i just graduated college with no money, no job, and no plan" drunk
According to Glamour magazine, experiencing sexual pleasure helps you live longer. I am dying an early death.
Nope it's him. He's whispering to himself and buying asparagus.
he asked me if i would dance for him to make it easier for him to jack off. does that answer your question.
According to the stories I've heard I decided I was a stuntman after my 6th shot of Jack
Seriously, I'm ready to settle for ugly and unemployed as long as he has decent hygene and likes to go down.
SIMBAAAA REMEBER WHO YOU ARE
Me and two guys that I made Eskimo bros all soberly slept together in my bed
Whoever labeled dysfunctional a bad thing obviously never saw this frinedship coming.
gay sex achievement: unlocked
what
you told me you were going out for groceries!!
If you think eating a bowl of leftover stuffing and drinking champagne from the bottle in dirty sweats at 9am is sexy... Then yeah, I'm your girl.
I'm sorry for getting drunk and throwing a robo-bird at you.
I found a Trump-humping republican virgin born on the goddamn Fourth of July. I NEED to hate-fuck him.
Randomize
