which bright sisters idea was it to put semi-formal in the middle of no-shave november?
she said her black crocs were her 'dress up crocs'
I would say a second date is not looking likely, I acciedentally bit his penis. it's still bleeding 43 minutes later.
He just did blow off my nipples. He's not serious about his girlfriend.
Well, I just watched him puke into his pitcher at the bar, I doubt he cares about anything other than the fact that he needs a new beer.
Well its kinda hard to gift wrap an orgasm
Dick in a box?
we are still finding bottels filled with his pee. tom almost drank the one in the frig
My liver and I thought we knew what we signed up for. We were wrong.
ecstacy + fleshlight = not all that upset about being newly single anymore
You don't know reunion panic until you've exfoliated your butt cheeks.
I was using my Beauty and the Beast blanket as a makeshift skirt because no pants
I vomited out my contact lenses last night
So, i might have left my morals back in 2011.
let me wake up, find my pants, and find out where i am tommorow and ill get back to you on that
I'm gunna wear a purple dress, so if you see someone looking confused and lost wearing purple it's probably me
Randomize
