Haha no. But I cannot hook up with you anymore. Especially when you group text people.
She told me I was starting to look like a mermaid with herpes and I needed to stop it.
part of me always dies a little when i go to the "2 women seeking 1 man" section in craigslist's casual encounters to find nothing there. it's tragic
At Wal-Mart last night I watched two guys scramble for $4.34 to pay for a pack of ping pong balls and red solo cups. They had to put the .34 on a credit card. Winter break begins!
as she was beating the hell out of his ex, she screamed prison rules, and smashed her head with a beer bottle. I'm oddly afraid yet so attracted to her now.
He's like Medusa, you can't look directly into his eyes or you'll turn into a slut.
She sucks. And I almost hooked up with a clown last night
If we accept the love we think we deserve do we also accept the sex we think we deserve?
When i sexted him a pic of my boobs I was worried he was going to notice the dorito crumbs and know I was just eating topless
Apparently "I have the beer shits" isn't the excuse my boss wanted to hear. So sue me
low point in my life last night. licked pizza grease off my iphone screen..
We were on a plane, I couldn't just grab his dick
My cat just tried to lay on my stomach while I was masturbating. And I let her because I am so starved for affection.
Things could not have gone more poorly if I had stripped naked and run through the Sahara with sirloins tied to my vagina.
Almost gave the delivery guy a 34 dollar tip. That high
Randomize
