C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
I'm going to write a book about John. It's going to be called big dreams, little dick
At best buy, little boy just crawled into my stall while i was taking a shit
She is the perfect woman. She cooks, gives good head and doesn't care that I have a small penis.
I don't want to eat him, he probably tastes terrible.
i asked if you wanted help changing your sheets after you threw up in bed. you politely declined. i take no responsibility after that.
I have minimal recognition and a lot of burns on my tongue and my vagina hurts.
I booty called her while she was in labor.
he was cumming and all I could think about was the pathway of sperm the in penis. thanks a lot nursing
I can only take thier stupid "I think beauty school is for me" routine so long until I have to bitch slap them with some knowledge
My cat was watching porn with me. Weirdest bonding experience ever.
Okay so, sorry but last night we had to put a note on your chest and a key around your neck just so you would make it home.
I found out he put two potatoes in a jar because he wants to make his own vodka.
On the shuttle bus from the Casino the driver refused to take us to the strip club so you said "let me off this bus or ill puke on you".
My law teacher drew an elephant on the board in class. I was so high that I laughed for 5 minutes straight. Nobody else laughed and everyone stared. 130 people knew I was high.
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