Drawing on your hand and calling it yenifer lopez doesn't count!
i miss vodka and anonymity. college is so rich in both. in college we are a many armed creature, lubricated with beer and sex.
It's a sad day when you have to slightly move your fupa to shave.
She made me put my jeans under her mattress so that I wouldn't leave in the morning while she was still sleeping. Apparently I just look like "that guy".
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm in Burlington Coat Factory. This place'd be great if you were on E. There're so many textures...
I'm kinda hoping that if I rub the right object, a genie will come out
can we get vodka so I have an excuse for being an emotional wreck
I need a thor helmet and I need to find my heavy duty drinking mug
The girl in the stall next to me is puking her brains out, I'd say she had just a good a weekend as us
I gave her some alkaseltzer ad she looked at me lke I was god
I'M SO LONELY THAT I TEXTED THE FRESHMAN
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
we watched a porno and made a drinking game out of it. best first date ever.
Ok. You have started something that can only end with a picture of the inside of my butthole. It may happen today or next year, but it's on my agenda.
That's a really terrible idea.
Awesome I'm gonna do it then, thanks for the input
He gave me my financial savings if I invested with him while I was giving him a bj.
If you recall, I made a Zoolander reference almost immediately after you pulled out of me the first time we had sex.
Just got back from a Walmart run. The music went straight from Kid Rock to John Phillip Souza. If that doesn't scream 'MURICA I don't know what will. Happy 4th!
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