it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
omg, he ripped it...he ripped my vagina...best. night. ever.
At least it earned you a couple drinks. And something tells me you've touched grosser things with less incentive.
i had confetti in my bra
i still find it in random places like a shoe or my car. that week haunts me
just tripped. bootyfest 2012 will be my engagement party. i saw the whole future. i'm moving to the beach.
I'm still trying to figure out how you came back with chinese food, and a spoon covered in icing saying 'cake..'
Tonight marks the 1 yr anniversary of me waking up in a bush. is that reason enough to celebrate?
Mom said you looked used
The judge mental looks i am getting while looking at porn on my phone sitting in the urgent care waiting room is gonna get way worse when they find out im here to see if im pregnant
I just wanna say I did some math and I lasted 1,052,000 more minutes than you at the bar before I got kicked out. That's 729 days. Bitch
We played table tennis, but used tv remotes taped to our foreheads instead of paddles. Every time your opponent scored you took a shot. I'm the current champion as of last night.
Due to this morning's events my new porn name is Reepa Nipplov.
Valentine's Day is now to be known as Tacos and Orgasms Day.
His sister hates me so I took his virginity on her bed
Dude i woke up today by a pile of fried chicken and wearing a bra
.......stop going to frat parties....
Randomize
