wtf. i just found you're porn stash.
u like it?
NOT THE POINT.
So what if i'm late to spanish tomorrow. who the hell cares. i don't even speak spanish.
thanks for not screaming that I'm pregnant when that guy was giving me his number.
I'm in class. I'm not opening a page with the words "death erection" in the link. There's people behind me lol.
At least my fat-chick-ratio has not been that bad this semester ...
I had a great time except for the part where you called another guy, told him you were in a cab - not on a date - and that you'd meet him at a bar in 15 minutes. but besides that it was awesome. Next time capping you at two glasses of wine
So I feel like I should have had a going away party for your dick. Complete with balloons and cake. Yeahh that's right. I'm gonna miss it.
Omg, you would have loved the guy I almost hit with my car tonight
I am sleeping in the bathtub because my bed is too soft.
So yeah he had good weed?
Woke up to the UT campus police fishing my boxers out of the university pool, guess it was a good night.
I apologize in advance for the amount of cleavage I'll be exposing your boyfriend to.
she fell asleep in a torn bush after playing cards at a nursing home.
Baruch atah adonai DAT ASS DOE
My knees are skinned from sitting on someone's face on concrete
Everyone is all excited about the iPhone 7 being water resistant and I'm only concerned with whether or not it can be destroyed by salsa or cum
Randomize
