Do you ever make guys send you dick pictures just cause it's hilarious?
If there was a creeper hall of fame you and me would be the first two inductees
i knew she was high when she broke up the cookies into her glass of milk and ate it like cereal
Our relationship just reached the stage where i can touch her boobs while making a honking noise without getting hit in the face
We took up a collection and paid her $50 to eat a piece of meat. Vegetarian morals trumped once again by cash.
Help. Me. He just whispered 'prepare yourself', & sprayed hairspray everywheres to make sure the 'air was crisp'
I am now the only person in my apartment who hasn't had sex in my bed.
Well, I plan on starting the night dressed as little red riding hood. Then I plan on finishing the night dressed as a shit show in a red cape.
She was kinda cute. So long as you don't mind neck tattoos and bad life choices.
He showed up to a baby shower and kept telling everyone he was late because he was pregaming. And then tried honking the pregnant girls tits
Dude. Stop sending me lines from Hungry Like the Wolf
My new successful method of booty calling is sending a screencap of a map with the shortest route from their location to mine highlighted.
It's important to establish I slept with her BEFORE we officially became cousins-in-law.
I have the rest of my life to settle down this is totally time for friends and pizza
I’m a little confused...we were told by Cheeto Jesus and his minions multiple times that we would stop hearing about coronavirus the day after the election and, yet, I am still hearing about coronavirus. Is it possible they lied to us again?!?
Randomize
