her vagina looked like a handful of raisins.
Sorry I never got back to you. I got high. I know it sounds like a commercial or something... but its true
I think I just puked all over my comforter and my roomdmate won't wakt up to washc it for me
I cleared a drunken path to my bed for you. If you hit clothes you've gone too far.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Now one day I will be able to tell my children how a drag queen in a gay bar told mommy that bin laden was dead
Time for jim to play the "dont seriously consider pooping in the trash" game
Today I left one job interview, showed up randomly at his house for a midday bootycall then left right after to attend my second job interview. I got both jobs
I think the Predator is hunting me in my house. If I don't text you later, send Danny Glover. I love you all.
In honor of today being Sunday I am day drinking and watching Grey's Anatomy all day. ALL DAY.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't understand why you aren't on this trip all I do is smoke weed drink beer and get fingered
I was riding him and in the middle he literally said "fuck yeah, Amy Winehouse"
Right when he asked me if I was on birth control my dad walked in. This is my fate.
I distinctly remember telling him "I'll suck your dick while you eat pizza"
I don't know if I want to fuck him or punch him in the face.
Dude, seriously, fucking stop introducing me as "Thomas, with the dick piercing." you are the worst wingman ever.
Randomize