it felt great physically, but AWFUL morally.
i woke up and my collection of plastic neon wayfarers were half-melted in the microwave. my drunk self hates my hipster self
dude, she masturbates with a ken doll.
so how do you plan on seducing my econ TA?
by telling him that he has a large supply and that i demand it...in my mouth. it shows him that i'm slutty and that i pay attention in econ
I think I could pass a breathalyzer. But with like a C.
I know it is almost summer when the students in my night class start showing up drunk.
She tags her boyfriend in all of her pictures on her heart...
Do you think if I tell the hot Santa at work that I want a sugar daddy for Christmas that he'll get the hint?
Finally smoked with my brothers, I feel like I just won gold at the Best Older Brother Ever Olympics
She leaned in close to me, made eye contact, and seriously whispered "I will eat your soul with bacon bits." I want whatever drug she was on.
She throws back shots like they are NO-THING. I swear, she goes through like five straight tequila shots, does a jello shot, chases with half a hot dog, has a rum and coke, and then takes her shirt off and makes an impromptu bandage out of it for fuckin' Tim who cut himself on the flagpole. I'm going to marry her.
I'm pretty sure I asked his brother if he was gay while drunkenly falling to the ground.
He said my vagina is harder to escape than the Temple of Doom.
I woke up in the bathroom clutching a stuffed shark. My night was fantastic, thanks for asking.
Do dollar stores sell vibrators?
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