i have it on good authority that she is not as good at giving head as she claims she is
Just found my toeprints on the glass of his sunroof.
Well on the bright side, I only need a sophomore to complete the fuck-a-guy-from-every-year-challenge.
We left at the same time. You got home three hours after I did and said you got your head stuck in a fence. I can't believe you don't remember this.
yea, there's something about a stripper whipping you with your own belt that makes you think
I wore a firefighters hat and drank beer all night. They had to drive me home after breaking the beer pong table, they told me I was welcome back tonight though...
The fact that you're allowing Santa to dry hump your ass is sort of a dealbreaker
I made a wizard staff out of Keystone light... I am therefore the smoothest wizard in all of our university's history.
It turns out my English teacher used to pose for Playboy. She's an inspiration.
We had sex and then I offered him a cookie...while he was still inside of me. Basically he's in love
We were gonna go out drinking tonight but she found out she's pregnant so are you free
i was really depressed when i left the health dept this morning after i had to write a higher number next to "partners" than "age"
I'm studying. I have a really exciting life lol
It's hard to say that sarcastically after having sex in a movie theater
where are my eyebrows?
He goes "what would you say if I told you I like to get it in?" def a potential soulmate right there.
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