She looks like Sash Grey but sounds like Fran Drescher. Advise.
We discussed our relationship status. We're dating exclusively. And the conversation was followed by him saying "C'mon baby, let's make you orgasm!" .....I'm gonna marry him.
I havnt been this mad since the coche de Los murtos incident
you force-fed me gummy vitamins while screaming "I JUST WANT YOU TO BE HEALTHY" i have never been so terrified in my life.
We had a 30 min conversation last night about whether or not to bone that girl with a lisp to see if she moans with one...
Just heard the girl at the bar cuss her bf out and order a long island ice tea. Going to give it 5 min then I'm going in. See you on the other side.
New favorite drinking game: bobbing for jello shots. Where did these freshmen come from and when can we go there?
The bartender just hugged us goodnight. I think we go there too often.
He's currently surrounded by roughly 23 girls he fucked and never called. He may not make it out of here. Bar of doom? Or of redemption?
He is currently in a meeting and I am sexting him in Italian
And he's using Google translate to reply. Who says cross country relationships can't be fun?
you know, i'm always afraid you're going to think i only want you for sex because i only text you when i'm horny
speaking of, guess what i'm thinking about
Well at least I will forever be known as the girl he ate out on the lifeguard stand while people walked by. On the first date.
I have loved her ever since she went down on my first wife
It was just like the old times. We watched movies and shit. But not like old times-i fucked her hot brother when she was in the shower? Times are a'changin.
The hangover struggle is to real, just passed the drive thru window. Twice.
Randomize
