I would like to meet someone who actually lost their virginity in a candle filled room
i dont understand why you dont get why i love him. i opened the bathroom door and he had his penis in his right hand and a mcdouble in his left.
In class ... We were just assigned groups for the quarter... Remember that night we took shots from that guys pants? I now know his name
He took me to the bathroom in the gay bar to "just cuddle." Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice...well...
the boys lacrosse roster just went up... now we can see who we had sex with
My dildo fell into the bathtub. It sounded like a chainsaw.
pretty sure I just came the closest to throwing up in my pants that I'm ever gonna get. I'd like to thank the academy and the hangover thatt I hope actually kills me in the morning.
I don't care how sexy you think I look in my scrubs. Wanting a blow job is not a medical emergency.
There's nothing more awkward than going on a beer run with 3 ten year olds....teacher of the year right here!
Next year for Halloween you can be the sword swallower, with a penis shaped sword.
I rode home in a shopping cart so there's that. MVP to the guy that pushed it.
You seem to be avoiding the poop question. How did you poop on your hand?
I'm eating animal crackers on my bed next to my vibrator writing about the hopelessness and depravity of humanity. I am LIVING.
I couldn’t resist. He had a camouflage condom. You know I love a man in a uniform
She made me watch three musicals and then told me she was too tired for me to stay over. I think I'm being punished but I have no clue what I did.
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