Damn I can't remmbre the last tome I had sobr sex
Um. I believe with my boyfriend, slut
Fuck. Wron person. But yea
My little sister just found a condom in her bag i borrowed... Happy fourteenth birthday.
I just heard a girl in all seriousness say, "I told him I'm not a stalker. I just really really want to talk to him."
The puppy is a lightweight. 3 beers and he's passed out on the floor already. I repeat, the puppy is a lightweight.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You should get a handy in the street again, just to prove you've still got it.
Don't worry. This time I'll get black out drunk so they'll just think it's an American thing.
Put a customer on hold today while I threw up. If I don't get employee of the month, I'm suing.
I told my doctor about us having twin chlamydia
I know. I feel like I should be doing mature responsible adult things though. Like getting loans, working 60 hours every week and not eating burritos in bed, ya know?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Would you like to partake in getting high as fuck with your best friend and then proceeding to cry over the shit head guys we deal with?
Maybe is for pussies. We only say yes in this household
You shut your whore mouth, we don't talk about Drunk Nutella night.
It's always nice when a total stranger hates your ex just as much as you think they should.
What the hell happened to my hand?
Well, you got in a fight with a cabbie while jaywalking, but we got you to walk away. The problem was 80 blocks away, when you punched a parked taxi for "running you over".
What did you delete my number or something
Oh honey. What makes you think I saved in in the first place?
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