Why did you put hummus in my pillow case?
If for any reason you were wondering if i was going to vomit at the airport today, the answer is yes.
Drunkenly auctioned off my bed for 3 tequila shots
Just saw a cop give four blondes gas for their car on their way to Vegas. They seriously ran out of gas and called 911 about it. Its like a porno plot.
Like if there was an award for best way to take a girls virginity, he would get a standing ovation. And first prize. Probably a bunch of roses too. That good.
Did i actually sleep there? Or did i just get sand everywhere?
Professor just informed us that she can't come to class today because her daughter broke her glasses and she can not see where she is going. Am I still drunk from this weekend?
We have so much sex to catch up on
We're all just looking at each other quietly, hoping that no one brings up last nights shenanigans.
Took off my bra at the laundry mat to throw it in I am officially white trash
If you fall asleep, my vagina and I will never forgive you.
He yelled "Go Ducks" while he came
I think i just made eye contact with his roommate... while doing reverse cowgirl. Yup i have no shamee
i think we reached that point in our drunkenness where even the creeps found us intolerable
I am high. And my mom surpised me today. Now i am high and with my mom....bad idea
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