do you think they make care bear costumes for cats?
This is how I know I have no life... Jon and Kate are my emotional roller coaster.
the reason why you were crawling on your hands and knees from room to room last night was because you thought the ceiling fans were chasing you...
that makes sense.
i got pulled over in my 'cops love me' tshirt. he didn't think it was funny when i pointed it out.
Some girl just asked us for directions back to campus. we told her to take the first four lefts. We live on a block. she believed us
Some girl in the stall next to me just yelled "fuck yes i started my period!" she came out of the stall and we high fived. who am i to judge? i do that every month.
Found out my brother is now my eskimo brother...One of my proudest times as a brother
She gave him HEAD floating down the river in a tube as big a a tire. I just don't know how to compete with that sort of level of slut.
Ps I don't think it counts as being open minded if you didn't know he was missing a leg until you had already started making out.
He pulled his pants down and said blow me, while passing out on my bed. I then pulled his pants up as he continuously started moaning in the background.
The important thing is not that we avoid making mistakes, but that we avoid learning from them.
I just found a video of you asking to be a whale with me.
You gave him that scrunchie you made and called it your "sex offering".
The secret to finals week is to have an orgasm for every point you need on the test before you take it.
If not, I can murder my liver twice...it's like a cat, it has 9 lives
Randomize
