whjeg hajt iyt
say what?
wanna hang out?
It was so delicious I was introducing it to people. Guy from my psych class was like "This is my girlfriend, Erica," and I was like, "This is my milkshake, Oreo."
I just found ouut you can get a DUI in a kayak. Fuck.
She took a break from repeating "my face is still buzzing!" to say that the phantom of the opera could be here
We shoved chex mix between her tits for her own survival.
and my attempt at hiding my drunkness from my parents included walking into the wall as soon as they let me into the house.
It's almost like he dry humped the last remaining bit of good person out of me.
My bruised ribs were so worth that win in beer pong
Woke up w/ the same freshman as last Saturday but we were sober this time. Is that a relationship?
wait no I wore my bra home that morning. I stole someone's bra last night?
I'm looking at some sugar baby profiles to get some insight on what we're up against.
And I was like "take off the damn flower crown, we're about to have sex not post an indie picture on tumblr"
why not an indie porn pic then
True strength comes from lack of pants
not only was there glitter in the toilet after i peed, but there was some on the toilet paper after i wiped. this cant be healthy.
I'm not gonna plow a chick in front of her 14 year old brother....
Randomize
