We found an eightball on the ground last night. I mean, really, who does that?
well my last 2 orgasms were over shoe sales at macy's. what does that tell you?
and next time when you feel me up, do it right
i'm writing my speech about my 4th grade backstreet boy concert experience. that sums up how seriously i take my life.
she took out her dip, threw up, and put it back in. it was like a scene from Nick and Nora's trip to the trailer park.
I submitted an essay to my history teacher comparing changes in the middle ages to the song changes by David Bowie. I can't wait to see my grade on that.
I left boob prints on the hood of his car. Something to remember me by.
A small child is toddling around the store, holding a coloring book and a shot glass. Thinking of you.
He tied me to the bed, fucked me and left me tied up until he proved to his room mates that he actually fucked me. But other than that, best sex ever!
Dude, they're still mid-coitus. Pretty sure running in to high five my roommate mid-thrust is a mood-breaker.
my mom just told me I should hit it and quit apparently she does not like this new girl
So his 25th anniversary post of love to his wife was almost verbatim what he said to me last week. Does that mean I win or lose?
It made me want to take you home, put you in footie pajamas and feed you spaghettios
I gave my girlfriend a ring to celebrate our anniversary, she thought It was an engagement ring. Now im getting married and I don't know what to do.
it’s about to be september and all i keep thinking is what if i go (another) full calendar year without having sex?
Randomize
