Sorry, I have to go home and feed my nepotisms
Sorry, I can't talk, there's a herd of nepotisms headed my way
All I've ever wanted to do in life is right
Maybe you should learn how to spell write first
did not feel like going to store to get condoms last night so went to her pantry and got a sandwich bag and a rubberband
did it work?
nope
I just told my doc I would like to talk about my drinking problem, but that it would probably get in the way of my weekend plans.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Come see our sink grown plant.
I am the poster child for what not to do during sex. Soon they will be calling an undesired position after me
She took off her pants and it was like seeing an old friend.
I have more bruises, scratches, and overall soreness from my birthday weekend than my car accident.
They went to the hospital to try backflips in the parking lot. Be ready for the call
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
his extensive knowledge of the age of consent laws kinda scares me....
I was like a damn cattle dog, I separated all the sheep, I can wing man for anyone on this campus.
My mouth is so dry that I'm about to put a straw in a jar of Vaseline and chug. This all addi diet definitely has its ups and downs.
I went out with a plan. I came home with a Brian. THIS WAS NOT PART OF THE PLAN.
You ever sit back and realize our friendship is based off us ranting at each other with random animal photos thrown in
He asked when the last time I had sex was. I had to look at the clock and respond "12 hours ago"
Randomize