So, we're in the car ready to fuck and she asks about my ex. I wave at my lap and say, "bye". She asks what I'm doing. I say, "waving goodbye to my erection"
I should be sponsored by Trojan
I hope my theory books are in my locker, but if not, I guess I can always share with you.
Who said I want to share with you?
You've sucked my dick, I'm pretty sure you don't care if I look at your theory book.
how the hell did u puke all over the magazines... do u still want me to keep them
By the way, she says hi. At least I think she did since she licked my phone
yeah...i noticed he pets people when he's drunk. It's odd.
I'm still in shock that he came by my house for five minutes dropped off a Teddy bear and went to the strip club on valentines day
OHMYGOD did I try to use pinesol as a mixer?
Damn you and your marathon penis with its superhuman capabilities
I have a high opinion of you, you smash bitches. Respect.
well at least you didn't have your nipples chewed last night
We duck taped Dave to a rolling chair and shoved him in the bed of the truck then took off for a bit.. We didn't explain it that way when the nurse asked what happened though.
My apartment looks like the apocalypse of sobriety.
I literally have a pirate chest of slutty clothing.
I admit I fucked your best friend, but to be fair, you fucked the tristate area. So there's a good chance about 40% of those people are MY friends.
Randomize
