I just gave my patient permission to swallow while pregnant. She was so embarrassed to ask...but her bf was really happy with the answer.
right. well i dont plan on getting laid till i find a respectable girl that i can make unrespectable
I said make yourselves at home, not to put a used condom on my ceiling fan.
basically at this point ill snort whatever you put in front of me and just hope
is it sad that i can describe this night as "the night that i was sober" and we all know which night it was. like literally one night of sobriety.
It went from cuddling and watching blood diamond to watching the three of them snort an entire $80 bag of blow off the coffee table
I know he gets bloody noses a lot...so that explains all the blood...but I'd say the condoms are definitely from a penis.
All she was asking was for you to describe your coat so she could get it, but you kept yelling at her so the security threw you out.
Let's just say that the best way to get a girls attention is not to slap her on the ass from the window of a moving cab.
The cop asked you after the breathalyzer what you think you blew and you very discreetly shouted "I'm pretty sure i blew Kyle on the way here "
How high were you when you left that message, cause you made honest-to-God, credible seal noises.
This is like 50 shades on steroids but with healthy relationship models and mutual respect among all parties involved and lesbian activity.
I'd like to buy a season pass to your dick please.
Day one of being single and I've came three times. I can get used to this.
I JUST FARTED SO LOUD AND HARD I IMMEDIATELY TASTED IT
Randomize
