i have the same doorman on the day shift as the guyi shacked with has on the night shift. he just laughed at me when i came home this AM. FML
Just spent the rest of my time at that bar trying to keep a probs underage closet gay from touching my kitten to prove he still likes girls.
She wanted to test if her costume allows her to still have sex in it. It does
I did something last night that I shouldn't have, but I don't want to tell you because you'll probably just make it your fb status...
I see you've learned your lesson.
I'm in the library if you wanna come give me library head.
They found a chair, duct taped me to it, then gave me a bottle of vodka to 'make me feel at home'
there's a liquor store near my therapist
i might give it a shot.
this is worse than the time i threw up a condom.
the doctor said its the kinda of pregnant you dont recover from
She wants to fuck me. On a tennis court. In her tennis outfit. Is ring-shopping an acceptable 3rd date activity?
All I know is....there's beer in my camera. How do I know? Because I can pick up my camera,shake it and HEAR, the beer in it
No sorry. I may be a happy drunk but my gag reflux is an angry drunk.
blue gatorade loses no color upon regurgitation
How does a face ride mean we're back together?
I think i got beer on your cat.
Randomize
