Gayer than 8 guys blowing 9 guys
wow, that really makes you stop and think.
Just saw a girl in a wheelchair puke then rally. Diversity matters.
I saved $70 from being to drunk to go out last night so I figured I could buy a new watch.
This just became a night full of adventures...and by adventures I mean hitting people with my car
We have started to decorate penises.
How do I say "I still wanna hook up w you but I don't wanna see your penis via text ever again" through a snapchat
Woke up behind one of the fraternity brothers houses in the grass wearing a guinness hat and aviators hugging a 30 rack box with a zonie on my chest next to a campfire.
Apparently, the Mormons have taken over airports. I was told by a befuddled looking clerk I couldn't buy a beer with breakfast before 6am.
im too broke to be in a relationship this close to the holidays
WHO ARE THESE GUYS WHY AN ORGRY ON A MONDAY LMAO
Many a woman has been in tears over the passing of my penis' whorish ways.
Alcohol and IMDB don't always mix with 100% accuracy
If you had asked me 10 years ago where I thought I'd be right now at 26 years old, I can bet you one million dollars that "tweezing out my nose hairs before I go in to get laser hair removal on my upper lip" would NOT have been the answer
I just pulled back the shower curtain to reveal Cinnamon Toast Crunch and a spoon in the bathtub. Ambien is a hell of a drug.
Even in drag you're still better looking than your sister.
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