It was like what a highfive between zeus and Jesus would sound like
I feel like a combination of david goes to the dentist and drunkest guy ever goes for more beer
Theres a baby at this concert double fisting pacifiers. shes gunna do great in college.
She's licking the seat belt now. Feeling a little uncomfortable
oh, i've got big weekend plans. on an unrelated note, do you think viagra will work if the guy is roofied?
While I faked being asleep, he literally prayed to God out loud, asking for forgiveness for losing his virginity before marriage.
He did a 4 wheel burnout and yelled at the cops "Sorry! It's for a school project!". HOW does he think of this shit?
Cleaning my pipe and using the left over resin solution to make THC laced rolling papers and a jar of hash oil/honey for my tea
WE USE THE WHOLE BUFFALO
I've never seen a guy eye-fuck someone so hard in my entire life. I thought he would develop laser vision, bore holes into your body, and not even realize your innards would be spilling everywhere. That's how bad it was.
Get off me. I'm done. I want a cookie.
Didn't want to waste the cheese dust from the white cheddar popcorn, so I gave him a handjob, followed by the most delicious blowjob ever. Win-win.
the police report says i screamed sanctuary from a jungle gym at the playground when they caught up with us, obviously they disregarded international law.
Of course, you have to give the courtesy text like last night when I told you my dick was gonna smell like peppermint
Now all I want to do is stay up, drink wine, and look at dragons.
I gave him a BJ in the shower
I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
Randomize
