your drunk exhusband is tryin to get with my drunk exgirlfriend. i think its funny. if you still talk to him dont say anything.
we're not divorced.
Just watched 1 guy 1 jar with my mom. Awkwardville...
We just saw a waitress walk by with a tray of bacardi and whipped cream.
Whoever ordered that deserves a pat on the back and the "classiest customer" award
Buying beer for freshmen. No matter what they ask for, I'm getting them Colt 45.
When you gave me the first bj i thought 'yep, this girl is going to do great things with her life'
As it turns out, drunk trust falling that guy at the top of the waterslide didn't really work out for anyone..
Woke up in my own bed with a "New Years Eve 2011" bar bracelet on. Both of these things confuse me.
hotel security told us you walked into the hotel with blood all over your dress, weren't wearing any underwear and were escorted back by three men who were believed to be "homosexuals".
Everything tastes like Lysol. Am I dying?
I like literally had a visual image of his penis going into your soul
Two chicks walked outta his room and all he did was beat his chest like LeBron and yell, "And 1!"
Does puke ruin car paint? Good thing it's raining.
She told me the next morning I stared at her tits for like 15 minutes with binoculars from only a few seats away.
Ahhh, the bane of our relationship.... His mediocre penis
What does it mean when the bartender gives you 4 straws?
Randomize
