I'm worried someone is gonna take a black light to my work computer. But the connection is faster here.
can you explain to me why you commented on every one of my profile pics with "tits and beer ftw" please and thank you.
i've never seen someone fall down the steps so gracefully... i think im in love
So I've officially decided that I AM that drunken mistake that girls hate themselves for in the morning.
i need to break up with him. i realized this while i was making a mental grocery list while we were having sex. this is not the first time i've done that.
My 10 year old brother handed me a pack of condoms and said "here, i don't wanna be an uncle yet."
You wouldn't let me clean the puke off your face because I'd mess up your cat whiskers. Now that's dedication.
Well I scaled a 3 story building last night to get laid. What have u done for ur penis lately?
Your expertise in crazy bitches is needed.
So a sorority girl just introduced herself to me by saying "a guy I used to fuck just threw up on me" and then she grinded on me
HELP THE ONLY THING THAT'S HELPING ME DISTINGUISH BETWEEN THE TWO OF THEM IS THE DIRECTION OF THEIR WINKY FACES OMFG
I don't think people appreciate how hard it is to fuck in a portapotty. Sarah and I had train for that shit.
He asked me for a pic so I sent him a pic of my boyfriends dick.
Like its not even midnight and I've already had enough of her for all of 2015
New one isn't as good asmy ex. She won't put her tongue up my butt
Peter this is your "ex"
I stand by what i said
Randomize
