That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
I have got to lose weight!! Apparently no one wants to fuck a fat chick with herpes.
he just put it in my mouth and said "go"
Just threw up my room service breakfast with my fake eyelashes and pearls still on.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can't get a boner in the bathroom of a buffet.
is there a legit reason for the weird voicemail I got at 2:14am?all I could make out was 'help me' 'two hours' and 'toilet butt'. wtf did u drink.
i'm going to look back at this as the time of my life when i casually dated that autistic guy
When one is stoned and browsing online dating profiles all men sound like serial killers.
Juss got out of jail; shes still in there tryin to sing her abc's backwards bc the cops neva asked her too... Whebever she gets to t she starts singin the tequilla song
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This hurricane was the perfect excuse to buy 2 pounds of animal crackers and a case of beer. It's on Sandy.
I've got a 90 day supply of amoxicillin in case of zombie or chlamydia outbreak
When we were done he got down next to the bed and I thought he was Tebowing. He was hitting a bong that he had already loaded and hidden under the bed.
Why is your solution always to masturbate
Because it usually works
Listen, if I miss the flight to Vegas because she's still rimming my ass, it will have been worth it.
You date? I thought you just hooked up with your TAs
Randomize