she was dressed as a doctor claiming that after she was done i would have a "permaboner"
just went to the store to buy a mop & tampons. i feel like i just gave in to all those women jokes.
Aparently his snake got loose in the middle of the night. Not a sex joke, he has a fucking snake
I think I met somebody from your birthday this past weekend. He said I held a push up contest outside the bar and told them I would make out with the winner. He said he won..
feelin groggy baby? need a coffee? vitamins? a nice good fuck on the piano?
three guys with a tattoo of the Walmart rollback smiley holding up a middle finger on their ass=free drinks in every bar
MY INSIDES ARE BASICALLY BEING WRUNG BY A CHAINSAW IM NEVER TAKING PLAN B AGAIN
Well if YOU HAVE TO KNOW, we're laying across the street from the bar on that grassy hill trying to see who's she's with at the bar.
I haven't showered. And am sitting in the office smelling like a beer can someone's been using as an ash tray.
This chick walked up to me in the bar and started making out with me, then grabbed my drink while I wasn't looking and walked off.
Interesting, I was always told to run away from crazy, but you seem to think we should run towards them dick first.
The creeper at the bar just realized we have the same birthday and bought me four beers already. He walked off so I took his change and dashed, i'm bringing the case over now.
Honestly, I am sitting in my room watching Ciara videos and thinking I am super jealous of how she rides it.
She said she didn't care that I was gay and wants to ride the fucking rainbow
woke up with a tree in my apartment. also the everclear bottle is suspiciously low
suspiciously? i think one of those explains the other
Randomize
