I mean a good dj is a huge turn on
i guess i called my mom last night. she wasnt nearly as impressed with what we did in the bathroom as i was
headbutted the bartender, tried to bite the bouncer, and pissed on a cops shoes. and i still got laid. god, it's good to be home
can't blv i tried using a "backpack" as a unit of measurement...i drank a lot of beer last night
I'm in this weird masturbatory haze making onion rings. If you want to come over we can eat these suckers and play TF2.
Why don't we hang out more often?
You should have totally come, I started watering down vodka with cider. I have lost the sense of taste.
I don't care how hungry or impatient you are. the highest setting on the microwave is 100% and you better not take it appart to add power. This is not the Enterprise.
I spent half an hours grinding with a drunk Harry Potter cosplayer at the con rave. Pretty sure I felt his wand.
How early is too early for a booty call on a Monday night?
Why can't burritos get me drunk
He makes balloon animals that get you high? Hell yeah invite him over!
Do it break your family into faction start a civil war
Fuck. I think I can already feel tomorrow's hangover. It's like future me cane back to warn present me about the impending doom but didn't turn the time dial back far enough.
so i went over to her house and we played crash bandicoot, ate calzones, and had sex all day. im in love.
Hitting up all my dealers for my birthday grams is paying off
Randomize
