i do not condone bathtub ky wrestling
I'm drinking early times at a fridays on wednesday night. This entire bar is going to see my dick by last call.
oh hey summer self, welcome to endless thirsty thursdays and walks of shame.
open bar reception. dayglow. pray for me
I wrote my name on his balls in sharpie. In the homosexual world that's like a diamond ring. Shits permanent.
I have the slightest memory of swinging a bag full of condoms over my head...
You were discovered in a bush, smoking, and singing "in the jungle" to yourself. Which explains the scratches, but not the orange paint.
My vibrator looks like a lipstick tube. So does my mace. I just realized the potential problems of keeping them both in the same bag.
Driving home this morning in my minion costume makes me rethink the 0 tint on my windows.
I'm out of prison. Wanna start a band?
My coworker's brand new computer showed up today. He's on vacation for the next week. Brian and I are installing Windows 98 on it.
I mean go ahead and let your freak flag fly but if you could not fly it in my bed that would be great
Just broke into the basement of my house via my american red cross blood donor card. I officially save lives
Being single again makes you realize how guys can go from licking your asshole one night to never texting you again
I wanna print it out and hang it on the fridge like parents do with good report cards.
oh the joys of a picture of a negative pregnancy test
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